Punch Lines

Point of View
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I was taking care of my 3-year-old granddaughter when she gave me a present, a book she had made herself. There were pictures on some pages and letters on others. I said, “Oh, you wrote your name on this page.”

She looked at me in surprise and said, “Grandma, you really should learn how to read!”

—Gladys Gritter

Much of the exterior of First Christian Reformed Church in Sioux Center, Iowa, is unadorned concrete. Hull, the neighboring town ten miles to the north, has a cheese factory with a similar concrete exterior.

Driving past the cheese factory one day with my friend Steve, I joked that if it ever went bankrupt, First CRC could buy the building to start a sister church.

“Yes,” said Steve. “It could be a church for those who have lost their whey.”

—Cal Hoekema

Following a discussion about miracles, the teacher took her class to the zoo. Walking along, they saw a lion and a lamb in the same cage. As they stood in amazement, the zookeeper heard them saying, “That is a miracle.” The keeper answered, “Not really. Every day I put another lamb in the cage.”

—G. Lieuwen

A young man was Facebooking in church. The usher passed by and whispered, “You better be texting heaven.”

—Dick Bylsma

My 4-year-old granddaughter was practicing a Bible verse with her mom. She confidently recited: “If I remember, I will keep your commandments.”

This is the same girl who belts out the song “Great is my faithfulness.”
I guess she has a few things to learn—don’t we all?

—Roseanne Eising

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class. It was a weapon of math disruption.

—Jay Hardy

I was reminded recently of one of our old family rituals on departing:

Me: Celery go?

Wife: Lettuce leaf.

Son: O Kale!

—Rudy Ouwehand

My husband and I were reading Matthew 7:6 for our after-supper devotions: “Do not throw your pearls to swine.”

“I’m not quite sure I’d put it that way,” my husband said. “I was planning to give you a pearl necklace for our anniversary!”

—Linda deBorst

Conversation with my 4-year-old granddaughter at church during the Lord’s Supper:
“What’s that, Oma?” she said, pointing at the bread.

“That reminds us that Jesus love us so much that he wants all of us to live with him in heaven,” I replied.

“What’s heaven, Oma?” she said.

“Heaven is where we are going to live forever, praising God,” I explained.

“But Oma, I don’t want you to live in heaven. I want you to stay in your own house!”

—Linda Drost

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