Relationships

Big Questions

Q Why is pornography wrong?

A Pornography is wrong because it embraces a view of sexuality that seeks to bypass the need for sexual expression within the context of a relationship that is faithful and enduring. In other words, pornography is a shortcut. It provides sexual release for someone without the richness and meaning of an intimate relationship in which one is known and yet loved.

Pornography is damaging because it allows one to be self-focused and isolated from others. It can help to bring a quick release or provide comfort, but, like all shortcuts, it cannot truly satisfy for long. Unfortunately, in Western culture pornography addiction is rampant because it has been legitimized.

It is important to remember that the experience of sexual attraction itself is not wrong or bad. God is not a prude. The belief among Christians often seems to be that God is ashamed of our sexuality. But read again the Old Testament Song of Songs. In it sexual attraction between the “lover and the beloved” is described and celebrated in great detail. Shame accompanies sufferers of all the varied addictions, but those struggling with sexual addictions in particular are often harshly judged by others as well as themselves. Hence the fear of exposure invites secrecy.

Sex is both private and powerful and is fueled by a need as strong as the need for food. However, in the same way that our normal and healthy need for food can be derailed into an addictive craving for junk food, so too a normal and healthy sex drive can be subsumed by an addictive need for pornography. That is why pornography is wrong.

About the Author

Judy Cook is a family therapist and a member of Meadowlands Fellowship CRC in Ancaster, Ontario.

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Comments

Thanks Judy, for your response/article as to why pornography is wrong.  I like what you suggest but I think it leaves some holes in which pornography or self gratification might be legitimized. And maybe it should.  Pornography may be a shortcut, providing a release without the richness and meaning of an intimate relationship.  But then what about the person for whom an intimate relationship has not come to reality or is not likely to, or to the person who would rather remain single.  Maybe it’s the junk food that is the only path to sexual release or fulfillment that is available for some people.  In such situations, it would seem that pornography and self gratification provides a means to fulfill an important need in one’s life.  I could imagine that some might even thank God for the balance and satisfaction that pornography provides for them. Thanks for your enlightening perspective.

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