Relationships

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Q Why is pornography wrong?

A Pornography is wrong because it embraces a view of sexuality that seeks to bypass the need for sexual expression within the context of a relationship that is faithful and enduring. In other words, pornography is a shortcut. It provides sexual release for someone without the richness and meaning of an intimate relationship in which one is known and yet loved.

Pornography is damaging because it allows one to be self-focused and isolated from others. It can help to bring a quick release or provide comfort, but, like all shortcuts, it cannot truly satisfy for long. Unfortunately, in Western culture pornography addiction is rampant because it has been legitimized.

It is important to remember that the experience of sexual attraction itself is not wrong or bad. God is not a prude. The belief among Christians often seems to be that God is ashamed of our sexuality. But read again the Old Testament Song of Songs. In it sexual attraction between the “lover and the beloved” is described and celebrated in great detail. Shame accompanies sufferers of all the varied addictions, but those struggling with sexual addictions in particular are often harshly judged by others as well as themselves. Hence the fear of exposure invites secrecy.

Sex is both private and powerful and is fueled by a need as strong as the need for food. However, in the same way that our normal and healthy need for food can be derailed into an addictive craving for junk food, so too a normal and healthy sex drive can be subsumed by an addictive need for pornography. That is why pornography is wrong.

About the Author

Judy Cook is a family therapist and a member of Meadowlands Fellowship CRC in Ancaster, Ontario.
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