Punch Lines

Point of View
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As he was dying, a very wealthy man regretted all he would leave behind. After intense negotiation, God allowed him to bring one suitcase to heaven filled with whatever the man wanted. He decided to bring gold bars because these would allow him to take as much of his wealth with him as possible.

Arriving at the pearly gates, he explained to St. Peter that God had allowed him to take the suitcase with him. Peter reluctantly agreed, but asked, “May I see what it is that was so precious to you that you would take it here?” The man opened the case, eagerly awaiting Peter’s reaction to his great riches.

Peter peeked inside and then turned to the man, incredulous. “You brought pavement?!”

—Mark Stephenson

I learn a lot from my elementary age Sunday school students. One day, as an introduction to a Bible story about Elijah, I asked the class, “Is it always easy to follow God?” Grace answered confidently, “No. He’s a lot faster than we are.”

—Cindy Michael

The irony of life is that by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.

—Sue Lauritzen

The Bible story I was teaching my grade 2 Sunday school students was about Jesus healing a man with a skin disease. On of the girls interrupted and said proudly, “I know that story—the man was a leprechaun!”

—Ashley Elgersma

My daughter and I often have to remind my 4-year-old grandson, Daniel, that, when talking in church we have to use our “inside voices.” One Sunday, when the pastor was getting particularly passionate during a part of his sermon, Daniel leaned over to me and said, “He has to learn to use his inside voice.”

—Dick Vandersma

The pastor was preaching a stirring sermon on sin. He stated that all have sinned, and there is no one who has not sinned. To prove his point, he asked anyone in the congregation who had not sinned to stand up. An older man near the back stood up. The preacher asked, “Are you saying that you have never sinned?”
“Oh,” said the man, “I have sinned, but I am standing up for my wife’s first husband.”

—Bob VanderLaan

During conversation at a dinner, I informed the man seated next to me that I was a preacher. He replied, “You know, we’re actually in the same trade. I am an anesthetist; my job is putting people to sleep. And you do the same thing!”

—Walt DeRuiter

My daughter is an educational assistant at a Roman Catholic high school for special needs students. One day the lesson was about Easter. She asked her student if he knew the meaning of Easter.

The young man thought for a while but had no answer. To help him along, she started to sing, “Up from the grave he arose.”
The boy interrupted and said, “I know, I know!” He then started to sing, “He knows when you are good or bad, so be good for goodness’ sake”!

—Corrie De Wilde

The other day, after one of her lessons, I was giving my 6-year-old daughter a pep talk. I told her, “I believe in you!”
Her response? “But Mom, we believe in God!”

—Torrey Edwards

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