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In the preschool Sunday school class, as an opening activity for the story of Abraham and Sarah and God’s promise to make their descendents numerous, the children unrolled and counted 100 sheets of toilet paper to get a sense for Abraham’s age.

We talked about Abraham’s age and how LONG he had to wait for God’s promise to come true. We continued with the story and talked again about God’s promise to bless Abraham and give him a great family. “Finally,” I said, “Isaac is born, and we see God’s promise starting to be fulfilled.”

As we wrapped up the lesson I asked in review, “What was God’s promise to Abraham?”
An eager preschooler enthusiastically replied, “That he would always have plenty of toilet paper!”

—Dawn Baker

After church one Sunday, one of the parishioners asked the preacher to pray for his hearing. The minister laid hands on the man’s ears and prayed.

Then he stepped back and said, “Can you hear me?”

The parishioner replied, “Yes. I could hear you before you prayed—my hearing isn’t until Wednesday!”

—Sylvia Hancock

My 11-year-old son insisted that “shut up” is in the Bible, so it’s OK for him to say it too.
I assured him that it is not in the Bible. Then he showed me Joshua 6:1: “Now Jericho was tightly shut up because of the Israelites.”

—Rosanne Eising

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

—Dave Smit

A second-grade teacher was telling the story of Lot leaving Sodom and Gomorrah. She told how an angel told Lot to take his wife and flee to the mountains. And they did. But Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

After a bit of thought, a little boy asked, “What did the flea turn into?”

—Bob Lubbers

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road. And was cited for littering.

—L. Knoops

A young lad was instructed to pay attention in the Sunday morning worship service.
“Be sure to listen so you can tell me what the preacher said since I can’t be there,” his dad told him.

Following the service, his father asked, “So what did the minister preach about?”

“He preached about sin,” replied the boy.

“Well, what did he say about it?” asked his dad.

“He said he was against it.”

—Walt DeRuiter

What kind of car did the early disciples drive?

It was a Honda.

(See Acts 2:1, KJV: They were all [in] one Accord. . . .)

—Chuck Lindemulder

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