Self-Control: Running to Win

Before my feet even touch the floor, the battle between my desires and God’s will has begun. The phone next to my bed begs me to check my texts before I give any thought to prayer. A hot shower woos me to linger longer than needed. I face the choice between scrolling Facebook or enjoying conversation with my wife. And that is just the first 30 minutes of my day! From sunup to sundown, I meet endless crossroads where I must choose whether to be ruled by impulse or restraint. And it seems the battle for self-control is not mine alone—in North America, more than a third of adults are considered obese, nearly a million people were arrested for drunk driving in 2024, and pornography websites rake in tens of billions of dollars.

Checking a phone, indulging a craving, or mindlessly frittering time might not seem like matters of great consequence. But don’t be deceived: the conflict between the Spirit and our sinful desires is a war (1 Pet. 2:11), and our enemy is taking prisoners (Rom. 7:23). Solomon warned that a person who lacks self-control is as vulnerable to assault as a city with broken walls (Prov. 25:28). Impulse left unchecked will eventually result in casualties.

Countless sobering stories in Scripture show the steep price of impulse squelching self-control. Consider Esau, who in a moment of hunger traded all the benefits of his birthright for a bowl of soup (Gen. 25:29-34). Samson, though strong in body, was weak in the presence of a seductive woman. His lack of restraint cost him respect, his sight, and ultimately his life. King Saul, panicked and impatient, took matters into his own hands instead of waiting on God; it cost him his kingdom (1 Sam. 13:5-14). And David’s unchecked desires plunged him into the darkness of adultery, deceit, and murder. Not even this man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14) was immune from the dangers of impulse. Caving to fear, even Peter did what he boldly insisted he would never do: deny Jesus. Poor Peter traded peace for the pain of bitter regret. Clearly, self-control is not merely a helpful habit; it is a necessity. But where does this strength come from, and how can we grow in it?

Holy Spirit-gifted

As an apple tree grows from a seed, self-control is produced by the Holy Spirit. Self-control is not self-generated, but Spirit-gifted: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23). We can no more generate Christ-like self-control in ourselves apart from the Holy Spirit than an apple tree can produce acorns. Before we can exercise self-control, it must be received from the Spirit.

And what an important gift it is! Though no more valuable than the other eight spiritual attributes, we can see God’s wisdom in including self-control in the Spirit’s gift bag. Without self-control, it is hard to imagine how the other gifts could grow and thrive.

Think about it:

• Without self-control, love risks becoming self-serving and manipulative rather than sacrificial. The soul-wrenched tears of a wife whose husband won’t stop his porn habit shout the truth of the matter—without self-control, love is destroyed.
• Without godly restraint, we sabotage tomorrow’s joy for today’s pleasures.
• Without taking every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5), peace is consumed by worry.
• Without the guardrails of self-control, patience dies a quick death.
• Enslaved to impulses, we are likely to respond to insults with harshness, not gentleness and kindness.

Self-control not only arises from the Spirit, but it is essential to a fruitful life in the Spirit.

Grace-taught

Professional golfer Ryan McCormick had been struggling with angry outbursts on the course. He tried various approaches to control his anger, but nothing seemed to work. As a last resort, he decided to tape his mouth shut. While this unconventional strategy for self-control did make him briefly internet famous, it didn’t help his score or produce long-term results for his on-course demeanor. Thankfully, we have a better teacher than tape: grace. Paul tells his young protégé Titus that grace “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives” (Titus 2:11-12).

Grace seems an unlikely tutor of self-control. We are more likely to imagine a drill sergeant with forehead veins bulging, face red, neck craning, shouting and spitting, demanding obedience just inches from the nose of a fearful young recruit. But Scripture paints a different story.

It is “in view of God’s mercy” that we are called to offer ourselves as living sacrifices who do not conform to the patterns of this world but rather are transformed by the renewing of our minds to live Spirit-controlled lives (Rom. 12:1-2). It is love that compels the apostles to no longer live for themselves, but for Christ, who died for them and was raised again (2 Cor. 5:14). Grace, mercy, and love are far more effective motivators than fear. Fear forces, but grace empowers and inspires.

Grace-empowered

Grace is not passive; it is a powerful force. The wonder of salvation through Jesus Christ is not only that his blood cleanses us from our sin, but that his Spirit empowers us to resist sin. The Spirit enables us to “put to death the misdeeds of the body” (Rom. 8:13). The promise of Galatians 5:16 is powerful—“walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” We need not rely on willpower, but on God’s power to crucify the flesh with its passions and desires. “It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Phil. 2:13). The very Spirit of Christ himself is within us.

Throughout his life, Jesus exercised the discipline of self-control. At the start of this public ministry, Jesus revealed his power over the desires of the flesh by resisting the devil’s promises of provision, power, and praise in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1-11). At his last Passover meal with his disciples, fully knowing the evil in Judas’ heart (John 13:21-30), Jesus resisted the urge to expose him. Instead, Jesus washed Judas’ feet and shared a meal. When the impressed crowds wanted to make Jesus king (John 6:14-15), Jesus—who was tempted in every way as we are—fought the temptation to take glory on human terms. Jesus set his face like a flint toward Jerusalem—not to ascend a throne, but to die a criminal’s death.

In the garden of Gethsemane, agonizing over the painful road ahead, Jesus prayed, “If it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matt. 26:39). Jesus pressed on. Moments later, Jesus faced Judas, who was flanked by a large crowd armed with swords and clubs (Matt. 26:47-56). With legions of angels at his disposal, it would have been nothing for Jesus to disperse or even destroy this violent mob. To fulfill Scripture, Jesus restrained himself.

During his trial, though falsely accused and ridiculed, Jesus harnessed his tongue. He didn’t react. Instead of lashing out, Jesus kept silent (Matt. 26:57-68).

At the cross, in a mocking chorus the religious leaders and the passersby taunted Jesus and told him to save himself—“Come down from the cross, if you are the son of God! ... He saved others, but he can’t save himself!” (Matt. 27:40, 42). Jesus ignored their insults, refusing vindication’s immediate satisfaction. Instead, he chose to accept his suffering for the glory of his Father.

Jesus encountered every sinful impulse and overcame it. Where do you most lack self-control? Consider this and be empowered. “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Heb. 2:18).

Grace-inspired

Grace inspires us to please our Father by being like his Son. God’s grace adopts us into the family of God and makes us God’s children. Nothing gives children greater joy than pleasing their parents. This is why Paul encourages us to “find out what pleases the Lord” (Eph. 5:10). Our Father’s pleasure is our joy. Jesus understood this motivation when he commanded us to let our good deeds shine before others so that our Father in heaven would be glorified (Matt. 5:16). Exercising self-control is not about drawing attention to ourselves, but about pointing to God’s power in us. Surrendering our will to our Father’s will brings glory to God’s name. Self-control is an act of worship! Consider this and be inspired. Every time you refuse another drink or refrain from tailgating a slower driver, you are raising a “Hallelujah.” Whenever you push through the impulse to procrastinate or to speak before you think, you sing a quiet doxology. For anyone who delights in pleasing the Father, this mindset really does make a difference.

Practical P’s for Self-Control

So how do we grow in the grace of Spirit-empowered self-control? Here are three simple but powerful practices.

• Pray: Jesus urged his disciples to “watch and pray “so they would not fall into temptation” (Matt. 26:41). When called into the ring against the flesh’s desires, pray. But don’t pray for self-control. Rather, thank Jesus that he has already given it to you. In Christ, we have been given a Spirit of “power, love and self-discipline” (2 Tim. 1:7). Imagine the difference this could make the next time you are tempted to head for the fridge, click on that site, or explode in anger toward your unruly child. What you need is self-control; what you have is self-control. To think that the power God used when raising Jesus from the dead is the very power that is at work for us (Eph. 1:18-22) and in us (Eph. 3:20)! Pray for wisdom to recognize, accept and exercise this truth for God’s glory.

• Practice: Paul writes, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training” (1 Cor. 9:24-25). We won’t win with self-control in high-stakes competitions unless we are training diligently in the daily foot races. Like any gift, self-control needs to be developed through practice and repetition. Practice self-control by saying “no” to that third handful of Cool Ranch Doritos. Rehearse putting the desires of the flesh to death by setting a limit on your screen time and sticking to it. Stretch that muscle by choosing to turn off Netflix and getting to bed on time. Put yourself into strict training by saying nothing when your impulse is to share your unsolicited opinion. Little by little, day by day, if you train yourself with practice runs, you will be far more likely to win in the harder ones.

• Press On: When our oldest son was in junior high, he itched to summit Mount Baker, a popular peak in the Pacific Northwest. We had excellent intentions. We practiced our ascent by going to the gym to sweat it out on an inclined treadmill. That was 10 years ago. Sadly, I’m no longer using the gym, and we still haven’t reached the summit. My problem was not practice or prayer. It was perseverance. Failing to stick with it, I forfeited the prize of sharing what would have been a once-in-a-lifetime experience with my son. Looking back, had I focused on the goal rather than the grind, I might have pressed on.

Jesus endured the cross “for the joy set before him”: the joy of returning to glory at the right hand of the throne of God (Heb. 12:2). Paul persevered to get “a crown that will last forever” (1 Cor. 9:25). The Spirit promises that if we don’t give up in doing good, “at the proper time we will reap a harvest” (Gal. 6:9). Self-control is attainable in the present when we set sights on our glorious future.

According to the apostle Paul, an undisciplined person is like a runner who, nearing the finish line, eases up ever so slightly and raises his arms in premature celebration only to be overtaken by his opponent in the final seconds. Paul urges perseverance in self-control, declaring, “I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that … I myself will not be disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:27)—not from salvation, but from the joy of life lived in step with the Spirit. How tragic to run hard and still lose the race for lack of self-control!

Self-control starts not with trying harder, but with trusting more deeply. The Spirit provides what the flesh cannot: the grace to grow and the power to finish well. Don’t trade lasting joy for fleeting pleasures. Run to win.

Discussion Questions

1. Before you read this article, how highly would you have rated self-control among the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23)? Why?
2. Would you consider yourself as having strong or weak self-control? Why?
3. How do you feel about grace as our tutor in self-control? Why do you feel that way?
4. How could you practice self-control in the coming weeks?