Punch Lines

Point of View
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Would you believe my neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning? Luckily I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Wendy Saunders

Years ago it was expected that when a visiting pastor had a preaching assignment in our church, a family in the congregation would host him for the day. On one such occasion, the family bowed their heads while seated around the table before dinner. It was customary in their family to only pray silently. After a brief silence, the pastor proceeded to pray out loud. Whereupon the 6-year-old son blurted, “You need to be quiet. We’re praying!”

Al Hoekstra

Remember the good old days when a text was a verse in the Bible?

A. Whipple

My 8-year-old grandson, Eddie, was given the class assignment “Draw and describe what you’ll look like in 100 years.”

Eddie drew a gravestone and wrote: “I’m having a blast with God. You should come and see the new world. It’s amazing up here!”

Jeannine Klain

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

L.H.

Six-year-old Angie and her 4-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”

“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers!”

Cyndi Boss

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: Their feet smell and their noses run.

Ralph Smit

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and bishops were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the front of the church for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, “Does anyone know what the bishop does?”

There was silence.

Finally one little boy answered gravely, “He’s the one you can move diagonally.”

Jan Veltkamp

Never go to an auto mechanic who works tirelessly. Especially if you need new tires.

Dave De Wit

A 10-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?”

Carla Van Den Hout

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