Punch Lines

Point of View
|

Six-year-old Angie and her 4-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally his big sister had had enough.

“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church,” she whispered.

“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” asked Joel.

Pointing to the back of the church, Angie said, “See those two men sanding by the door? They’re hushers.”

—Cyndi Boss

One Sunday, while attending the early service at church, which is attended mainly by older Dutch members, I went to use the restroom. A gentleman came in and washed his hands. Then he proceeded to leave, turning out the light in order to save electricity—and leaving me completely in the dark!

—Adrian Elzinga

We started teaching our boys about giving to the church. The older two each had some money in their piggy banks that they wanted to spend, so we talked to them about spending, sharing, and saving. When they took some of their money to give to the church, we explained that the first offering was for the church budget and the second was for a ministry outside the church.

One afternoon Levi, our 7-year-old, spotted a sign that read “Budget Brake & Muffler.”

“Mom, look!” he said. “That’s where my money went!”

—Jacky Huberts

After a Palm Sunday service, my dad and I were discussing the children’s enthusiasm as they progressed up the aisle waving palm branches.

Me: It would be great if we could get a donkey, cover it with coats and blankets, and have the children lead it as though Jesus were seated on it during his arrival in Jerusalem.

Dad: Sure. Then when they get to the front of church, the pastor could say, “Let us bray.”

—Jean Van Dyke

A Sunday school teacher asked the children, as they were on their way to the service, “Who can tell me why we should be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

—Edith Vander Veen

My daughter was reading a Bible story about the plagues sent upon Egypt. She explained that the Lord sent so many frogs that there were piles of them on the land.

“What was this called?” she asked, expecting the answer “A miracle.”

Four-year-old Chloe immediately responded, “Littering.”

—Dave Hollander

The blame game:

Adam blamed Eve.

Eve blamed the snake.

The snake didn’t have a leg to stand on.

—Hilda Wever

My granddaughter is 2 years old. Her parents have been teaching her to sit still and be quiet in church. During one visit to my house, the two of us sat down to read a book together. She was doing just fine, but was talking a little louder than usual. When I asked her to use her quiet voice, she responded, “Why, Grandma? Me not in church!”

—Diana Leyendekker

The other day my 4-year-old and I were having devotions that included a reading from Revelation 22:5: “They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.” My son looked at me quizzically and asked, “Why is God going to make it rain forever?”

—Scott Stark

X