Punch Lines

Point of View
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After giving the children’s message on the story of the Good Shepherd, the pastor asked who the children thought the Good Shepherd really was.
“Jesus,” a little girl enthusiastically replied.
Then the pastor asked what role a pastor might play in this story.
A little boy replied, “You’re the dog because you help keep the sheep in line.”
—Jan Bieri


 

An FBI agent came to the farm and told the farmer, “I’m here to check your fields.”
“OK,” said the farmer, “but don’t go near the 40 acres in the middle.”
“Do you see this badge?” said the agent. “With this badge I can go anyplace I want.”
A little while later the agent came running at full speed, chased by a bull.
The farmer shouted, “Show him your badge! Show him your badge!”
—Harvey Bergsma

 

At the Arizona church we attend in winter, a child is invited to take home a bag and bring it back the following week with one object of his or her choice in it. That object then becomes the talking point for the children’s message.
One Sunday a little kingdom worker brought up her bag. The pastor removed a plastic stemware glass.
He asked, “What do we do with this glass?”
Several answers were offered: Drink lemonade, or water, or orange juice.
The pastor continued, “Jesus once may have used a cup like this when eating a meal with his disciples. Do any of you remember what he said when he raised the cup?
One little boy’s hand shot up as he shouted, “Cheers!”
—Dan F. Bloem

 

Our 2-year-old grandson, Abraham, was hugging his 5-year-old brother, Caleb.
“Don’t hurt my heart, Abraham,” said Caleb. “That’s where Jesus lives.”
—M. Ballast

 

Overheard in the car as the Christian radio station was playing the song “I am a friend of God . . . he calls me friend”: the young child in the backseat was singing along with these words: “I am a friend of God, he calls me Fred.”
—Cora Kuiper

 

Classified ad spotted in the Brockville, Ontario, Recorder and Times:
“When this model rolled off the assembly line, the manufacturer knew that it was one-of-a-kind. With its sleek body style, durable exterior, and delicate interior, it was sought after by many. I fell in love with it the moment I laid eyes on it and soon after took out a lifetime lease. Although it has been known to blow the odd gasket over the years, it still purrs like a kitten and even on the coldest morning starts up without any hesitation. Although the body has changed and the seat is not as firm as it used to be, it does have a spare tire. I would not sell, lease, or trade this model for anything in the world.
Happy 50th birthday, Harold!”
—Jan Groenewoud

 

My 5-year-old granddaughter, Hannah, has been praying for a hamster for quite some time, even though her parents have told her they can’t get one because of her sister’s allergies.
One day she told me, “Nana, if I put my hand by my ear and be real quiet, I can hear God whisper to me.”
“Really?” I asked. “And what does he say to you?”
“He said he’s getting me a hamster.”
When I reminded her that her mommy had already said no, she confidently said, “That’s okay, Nana, because God’s the boss and he said yes.”
—James Schaaf

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