Punch Lines

Point of View
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Following our Sunday-morning worship service, I was visiting with my friend Doug Vande Griend, an attorney in Salem, Ore.:

“Hey, Doug, I was wondering: how much would you charge me to answer three simple questions?”

“$300,” he told me.

“Wow, that’s kind of steep isn’t it?”

“I guess so. So what’s your third question?”

—Dick Bylsma

As our 3-year-old granddaughter descended our family room steps, she noticed the high school graduation photos of our four children, including one of our son who at the time had very “Jesus-like” long hair. When asked if she knew who the people in the photos were, she quickly identified “Uncle Mark, Uncle Jack, Aunt Ann, and Daddy when he was a girl.”

—Michael DuMez

Our young grandson was in church with us when he heard the minister say, “The kids will now go to Sunday school, and the rest shall have the Lord’s Supper.” At which point our grandson blurted out, “Hey—I haven’t even had lunch yet!”

—Jack and Edna Prins

A couple years ago my daughter Janae and her grandfather (“Odie”) were having a conversation about her newborn baby brother. “You’re so lucky!” Odie said to Janae. “You get to see him and hold him every day. I only get to see him when we visit you.”

“Oh, Odie, you are WAY luckier than me,” Janae responded. “You’re so old, you’re gonna get to see Jesus soon!”

—Monica deRegt

My daughter was teaching her 2-year-old to pray:

Mom: “Lord . . .”

Sarah: “thank you . . .”

Mom: “for . . .”

Sarah: “five.”

—John Depooter

Bulletin blooper: “The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.”

—Herman Kelderman

Found in a church newsletter: “If you find a mistake in this publication, please understand that we have purposely included it. We attempt to publish something for everyone, and some people are always looking for mistakes.”

—George Vander Weit

Our village’s newspaper has a section where they reprint something from the archives. This is a snippet from the paper published on June 2, 1911: “Some women are awful touchy. A widow has brought an action against a paper, which said that her husband had gone to a happier home.”

—Joy Vermaak

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket and your friends and the church members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Gerrit said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”

Cornelius commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and a loyal servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.”

Elmer said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”

—Bill Wilson

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