Punch Lines

Point of View
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A father believed his son was spending too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy to focus more attention on his schoolwork, the father told him, “When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”

The son pointed out, “When Lincoln was your age, he was president of the United States.”

—John Veltkamp

Her name was Wilmina. Her pastor always called her Wilhelmina—that is, until the time she mustered the courage to say, “Please leave the ‘hel’ out of it.”

—Ivan and Ruth Mulder

“Do you know Noah’s favorite song?”

“No, what is it?”

“‘Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.’”

—Dick Bylsma

Our 2-year-old grandson was being read the story about Jacob and his brother Esau, with the hairy arms. The next night the story was again about Jacob. Our grandson asked, “Where’s Chewbacca?”

—Jack and Terri DeJong

My wife and I were in church with our 5-year-old granddaughter. It was Communion Sunday, and because it was the season of Lent, our pastor chose to celebrate the Lord’s Supper with a Passover theme, using unleavened matzoh bread. As the plate was passed, our granddaughter noticed that it appeared to hold crackers instead of the usual bread cubes. After pondering that a moment, she turned to my wife and whispered, “Oma, do you think it will ever be chocolate chip cookies?”

—Henry Hess

I was playing a game with my young grandson, and we had a small disagreement about the rules. So I told him that when Daddy came to pick him up, we’d ask his father about it—“because daddy’s know everything, don’t they?”

He hesitated a minute, then said, “No. He don’t know how old God is.”

—Grace Van Ryswyk

My 7-year-old grandson and I were in the arena, waiting for his mom and 10-year-old sister after a Ringette game. Trying to pass the time, I suggested we play “I Spy.” So, spotting a garbage can, I began, “I spy with my little eye something that starts with g.”

“I know,” he said. “Jesus!”

—Tiena Jones

We adopted our youngest son, Joseph, when he was 5. Shortly after that he lost his first tooth. Of course the Tooth Fairy visited that night and left him a dollar under his pillow. Later on we were talking about the Tooth Fairy, and he confided, “Mom, I know there really isn’t a Tooth Fairy.” Not knowing what he’d learned from previous foster families, I asked, “Well, who left the money under your pillow, if not the Tooth Fairy?”

He answered confidently, “I know it was really God!”

—Marilou Richardson

Banner readers, what has made you smile lately? Got a joke or funny story you’d care to share? Please send it to The Banner at 2850 Kalamazoo Ave. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49560; or email it to editorial@thebanner.org. Thanks!

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Earlier today, as I answered the phone at the Light of the World Prayer Center, and the sales person calling asked to talk to the owner, I replied, "You can talk to God anytime!"

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