Punch Lines

Point of View
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We’re looking for funny church signs and bulletin bloopers. Send yours to editorial@thebanner.org. Photos or text is fine!

In vacation Bible school this summer, I told the story of Joshua’s spies hiding under flax on the flat roof of the wall of Jericho, Rahab, the red rope, trumpets, and stone walls that came tumbling down. When I finished, a little boy raised his hand and asked me, “Were you there when that happened?”

I don’t know if it was my enthusiastic telling of the story or my gray hair that prompted the question.

Ruth Vander Zee

 

Susan, age 4, was drinking orange juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don’t give me this juice again,” she said to her mother. “It makes my teeth cough.”

Marie Albers

 

The other day I went out to lunch with two of my granddaughters. I invited the 4-year-old to pray before the food came. She started her prayer thanking Jesus for her mommy, daddy, sister, and grandparents. Then she went on to pray for our sandwiches, ending with a very loud “THE END.”

Diana Leyendekker

 

My Cranium Conga Word Worm card read: I think my hair looks especially ____________ today.”

My 6-year-old grandson immediately commented, “Grandpa’s hair is blank!”

Virgil Michael

 

Going over our church finances I found a receipt from a local paint store signed by someone named “Christian.” I wasn’t aware of anyone from our church buying paint, so I called the store to point out the mistake. “I’m sorry,” I told the manager, “But there are no Christians here at First Church!”

Cyndi Boss

 

Tom and his son, Bill, went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter brought out the two steaks, Bill quickly chose the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn’t happy about that. “When are you going to learn to be polite?” he said.

Bill replied, “Which one would you have picked?”

Tom said, “The smaller piece, of course.”

Bill said, “Then what are you complaining about? The smaller piece is what you got, right?”

Jan Veltkamp

 

Little Dewey was at football practice. The coach said, “Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts?”

Immediately Dewey answered, “ Oh, oh, me sir. Me!”

The coach replied, “But Dewey, you’re the worst player on the team.”

“I know,” said Dewey. “But goalposts can’t jump.”

Marie Albers

 

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