According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine. But then they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of lip prints.
Finally, the principal decided something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all the lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirror every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirror, she asked the custodian to clean it. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet, then cleaned the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
I didn’t know whether my young granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point to something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of those for yourself.”
During the worship service Pastor Ron asked the children to come forward for a message. Since it was the month of March, he decided to focus on the coming of spring and the expectations that spring brings. So he asked the children what month follows March.
“April!” a little girl answered quickly.
Pastor Ron then asked, “What kind of weather do we have in April?”
Another child responded proudly, “April brings showers.”
“If April brings showers,” the pastor continued, “what does May bring?”
“May flowers,” came the quick answer.
“And what do May flowers bring?” asked Pastor Ron.
A boy shouted with great exuberance, “Pilgrims!”
—Bill Van Dyken
Smith climbs to the top of Mount Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks, “God, what does a million years mean to you?”
“A minute,” God answers.
Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”
“A penny,” God replies.
Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”
“In a minute.”
Three boys are in the schoolyard, bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a poem, and they give him $50.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a song, and they give him $100.”
The third boy says, “I’ve got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
The Sunday school teacher asked her young charge, “Johnny, why do you always scratch yourself?”
“’Cause I’m the only one who knows where it itches,” he answered.