Point of View

Punch Lines

This morning suffering is for the General Ministry of this church and the Christian Reformed denomination. If you wish to give today to support our Building Fund, please sue the small manila envelopes in the book racks labeled “Special Offering.”

Submitted by Mary Worst from her church’s bulletin
of April 23, 2006.

 

James (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

Concerned, James asked, “What happened to the flea?”

Marian Joling
(from the Crystal Cathedral’s Care Capsule publication)

 

Our grandson wanted a Bible with Jesus’ words printed in red for his 12th birthday. We decided on an NIV Study Bible. As he paged through the book, looking for the words spoken by Jesus, his little brother piped up, “Why did Jesus always write with red ink?”

Tina Van Dyke

 

While visiting in Florida, friends of ours worshiped in a Christian Reformed church. When the husband turned to the announced hymn, his wife immediately grabbed the book out of his hands and began reading the words of the song on the opposite page, “On Jordan’s Bank the Baptist’s Cry.” Raised in a Baptist church, she’d experienced attitudes of superiority from some Christian Reformed folks. She wanted to check whether this song claimed Baptists would never cross the Jordan to the Promised Land but would only gaze at it from the opposite bank with tears in their eyes.

George Vander Weit

 

A neighbor who teaches children under age 10 in Sunday school told me he’s certain their lives have been too affected by the constant presence of electronics. While soliciting their thoughts about the books of the Bible they were assigned to read, he was taken aback by one student’s remarks regarding “Paul’s e-mail to the Ephesians.”

Ellis J. Biderson

 

Our 3-year-old daughter loves to sing. Recently, while traveling in the car, she serenaded me with many of her favorites. She came to the second verse of  “Jesus Loves Me” and sang, “Jesus loves me, he who died, heaven’s gates to open wide. He will wash off all my skin, let his little child come in . . .”

Maria De Jong

 

This morning I demanded that my wife give me breakfast in bed,” said the new groom to one of his coworkers.

“Did she do it?” the friend questioned.

“You bet!” came the reply. “She brought scrambled eggs with sausages, buttered toast, oatmeal, orange juice, and hot coffee. There was only one thing missing.”

“And what was that?” inquired his friend.

“Dishes.”

George Vander Weit

 

A man visited the doctor’s office for his annual checkup. The doctor asked him if there was anything unusual he should know about.

“Well,” the man replied, “I find it strange how much my Sunday suit shrunk while just hanging in the closet.”

“Suits don’t shrink,” the doctor said. “You probably just put on some weight.”

“That’s just it, Doc. I haven’t gained a pound since the last time I wore it.”

“Well then, you must have a case of furniture disease.”

“What?”

“It’s that stage in life when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.”

Richard M. Tuitman

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