Filling our Worry Boxes with Peace

I don’t remember where we first heard of the concept of a “Worry Box,” but it was an apt analogy for the worrying tendencies around our home. While I’m typically an optimist—always hopeful and looking on the bright side—my husband balances me out with his concern over things that could go wrong.

People who have a Worry Box become uncomfortable when it’s empty. As soon as one concern is quelled, they’ll find another to take its place. They often have many worries in their box at once, and things get rough—especially for the optimists they live with—when that box is overflowing.

The Worry Box became our lighthearted way of dealing with my husband’s tendency to fret.

“Now that we’ve replaced the furnace, the next thing that’s going to set us back is the roof,” he’d say.

I’d smile. “Well, at least you have something to put in your Worry Box. You wouldn’t want it to be empty!”

While on our way to a party, “Do you hear that noise coming from the back of the car? I think something is loose.”

“Put it in your worry box,” I’d say.

While I rib my husband about his Worry Box and call myself an optimist, ‌I’m really no stranger to worry. However, the concerns that weigh on my mind differ from those of my husband. My worries are less about the responsibilities of home maintenance, mechanical issues, and finances, and more about regrets, fears, and my desire to control.

As I struggle to fall asleep at night, I replay conversations in my mind, wondering how I could have handled them more effectively. In recalling a meeting in which a decision didn’t align with my wishes, I think, “What could I have said to make things go my way?” Or replaying a conversation with my neighbor, I recall how I was upset and raised my voice. And now, even though I’ve apologized, she won’t speak to me. I wonder, “What else can I do?”

I also struggle with “what if” fears that typically involve injury or illness. What if I get hit by a car while riding my bike? What if I’m diagnosed with cancer, have a stroke, or contract an incurable disease? Or worse, what if my husband or one of my children becomes gravely ill or is injured in an accident?

The contents of my Worry Box might look different from my husband’s, but I admit that my box is rarely empty.

Sometimes worrying helps us deal with daily concerns and situations. But if left unchecked, worrying can lead to anxiety—a general feeling of unease, loss of sleep, and other physical symptoms. While these tendencies often come with the responsibilities of adulthood, anxiety also plagues our youth.

Jonathan Haidt calls today’s young adults “The Anxious Generation,” largely because they are striving to live up to the pressures and false images they encounter on social media. Teens and 20-something adults are overly concerned with their appearance, experiences, worldly success, and how they measure up with others.

Add to that the constant barrage of information we receive on the world’s problems—issues such as climate change, threats of war, sudden and extreme changes in governmental policies, or the uncertainty of how artificial intelligence will impact our lives. With so many global issues, it’s no wonder that worry and anxiety are our constant companions.

Whether we’re facing concerns over finances and home maintenance, regrets over past words or actions, fears of the “what-ifs,” pressure from social influences, or dismay over national and global issues, it’s not surprising that many of us have Worry Boxes filled to the brim.

Jesus said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matt 6: 25a, 27.) He continues, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matt 6: 33-34).

If Jesus were preaching to us today, he might also add, “Don’t worry about the rattle in your car, your lack of control, the stain on your new shirt, or the acne on your face.” But where do we draw the line between a healthy concern and a sinful worry? And what are Christians to do about worries that come so naturally to us?

Replacing Our Worries with Peace

The concept of a Worry Box can be comforting. It’s a place to put our worries—to set them aside and maybe even close the lid on them from time to time. But wouldn’t it be better to dump them out, filling our boxes and minds with peace instead? The Bible gives us several alternatives to worry, all of which can be difficult but when practiced, ultimately bring us PEACE.

P: Pray and be Present. The apostle Paul wrote these words of encouragement to the church in Philippi: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil 4:6.). Prayer should always be our first line of defense against worry. When we hand our lives—our everyday problems, fears, and regrets—over to God, we give control to him and, in doing so, loosen our grip on fixing whatever ails. Jesus himself reminded us to go to him with our needs: “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9).

Focusing on the present moment through mindfulness practices is another strategy that can work in tandem with prayer. Finding a quiet place allows us to listen for God’s voice. Repeating a breath prayer or verse, such as “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10), grounds us, making us aware of God’s presence. Rather than fret about the past or future, when we appreciate the present through our senses—what we hear, see, smell, taste, and feel—we will feel gratitude (more on that below) rather than angst. It will also tune us in to God’s provision and our dependence on him in every corner of our lives.

E: Entrust your concerns to others by asking for help. We often think, “I can handle this problem by myself.” Cultural norms make us believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We don’t want to embarrass ourselves or put others out.

But over and over, the Bible paints a different picture—one in which God’s people reach out for and receive help from others. One example is in Acts 9 where we read about Saul (later called Paul), who loses his sight after his conversion experience. After being blinded, the spirit of Jesus sends Saul to find Ananias, who has been prepared for this encounter in a vision. Jesus tells Ananias how he is to help Saul regain his sight.

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus made Saul seek another man’s help when Jesus had the power to heal Saul himself? After all, it was Jesus who had blinded him! Perhaps the lesson here is that God wants us to seek help and advice from others when we have problems or concerns. God works through the people he’s placed in our lives and expects us to rely on him through them.

A: Take action. For many items in our Worry Box, there is a related action we can take to dampen or extinguish the worry. Every step toward a solution or prevention will bring a greater sense of calm.

Are you worried about the unusual sound coming from the rear of your car? Schedule an appointment with the mechanic. Having regrets over words said when you were upset? Apologize and make amends. To fight off fears of illness, schedule routine, preventative medical tests and get recommended vaccines. And to prevent serious injury, avoid risky activities and use safety gear.

Concerned about climate change? Do your part through sustainable living. Worried about the state of your nation? Call elected officials and voice your concerns, join a peaceful demonstration, or volunteer for organizations you are passionate about.

Other actions might be unrelated to the problem but simply relieve our stress. Activities that involve movement—such as walking, dancing, yoga, or kayaking—can be a great stress reducer. If creativity brings you joy, try painting, knitting, writing, or making music. Finally, the act of serving others through volunteer opportunities can help take your mind off your problems by drawing your attention toward those less fortunate.

When our worries seem to paralyze us—keeping us from taking action—we can remember where Paul, in all his struggles, found his strength: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Phil 4:13). Praying for Christ to give us the strength we need to carry on can bring us through.

C: Control your own narrative rather than letting it control you. Most worries stem from regrets about the past or concern for the future, neither of which we have control over. We can bring peace to our current situation by controlling the narrative we tell ourselves. Rather than ruminate over wrongs we’ve done or harsh words we’ve spoken, we can ask forgiveness from God and others. Receiving that forgiveness and reconciliation will help to put the past behind us.

But what about concerns for the future? Though we have little control over what will happen tomorrow, similar past situations might help us through. Did God provide for our needs in the past? Perhaps he supplied even more than we expected. God’s care for us in the past can bring confidence about his provision for the future. In the words of Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

We can’t change the past or control the future, but we can control the narrative—the story of God’s love for us—by focusing on this moment and the things God is doing in our lives today.

E: In Everything give thanks. As we focus on the present, we see that we have much to be thankful for in the here and now. Listen to Paul’s words again: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil 4:6).

Why do you suppose Paul included the words “with thanksgiving” in his letter? It wasn’t as though he had much to be thankful for. He often wrote from prison or after being persecuted. And yet he said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Phil 4:11).

Even when our Worry Boxes are full, we can look for God’s provision in our lives. If there is a rattle in our car, we can remind ourselves that we have a car. If we are worried about future illness and injury, we can give thanks for the health we enjoy today. When we’ve done or said things we regret, we can give thanks for the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

As we practice these habits and remember to pray and be present, entrust others with our concerns, take action, control our narrative, and in everything give thanks, we’ll find our Worry Boxes are no longer full of worries. Instead, they are overflowing with peace.

Again, Paul’s words to the Philippians remind us of this promise we can rely on: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:7).