Construction began on a bar in a small town. The local church started a campaign of prayers and petitions to stop it. A week before the bar was to open, lightning struck the building and burned it to the ground.
The bar owner sued the church, stating that the prayers were responsible for the loss of the building. The church, through its lawyer, denied any responsibility.
The judged looked over the paperwork and said, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this. We have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and a church that doesn’t!”
A father is telling his son bedtime stories to help him sleep. The only sound is the murmur of the dad’s voice.
Two hours pass, and there’s silence in the room. The mother creeps to the door and whispers, “Is he asleep, dear?”
“Yes, Mommy,” says her son.
Little Brother: “Someday when I’m older, I want to fly an airplane up to see Jesus.”
Big Sister: “No, Jesus is higher than that. You’ll need to take a rocket!”
—Ryan Van Der Bill
My 5-year-old grandson was in the den with me and saw a picture of me on the wall. It was taken several years ago. He asked me who that was, and I told him it was Grandma.
After studying it a few minutes he asked, “Is that when you were new?”
One Sunday my wife and family traveled to a very small country church to witness a baptism. The church had no nursery, so our four kids and two foster children nicely filled a pew in the tiny sanctuary. When it came time for the offering, I thought it proper to have even the younger ones participate. So I gave a quarter to D.J., my 3-year-old foster son on my left, and told him to put it in the plate. Then I turned to Christian, my other 3-year-old son, with the same instructions.
I soon realized I hadn’t been quite precise enough.
While I had my back to D.J., he exuberantly ran to the pastor at the front of the church, the quarter in his outstretched hand, cheerfully shouting, “Here’s your money! Here’s your money!”
If only all church members gave so joyfully.
Q Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.