Punch Lines

Point of View
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After my husband hung up from a phone call, I asked, “Who was it?” He replied, “Mary.” Our young son, Sam, then asked, “Magdalene?”

—Jen Schoenherr

During a power outage last week, my PC, TV, and games console shut down immediately. It was raining really hard, and I couldn’t ride my motorcycle either. So I talked to my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person.

—Cornelius Witt

Our 5-year-old granddaughter has had hearing problems since birth. One day she came home from preschool and reported that she couldn’t hear her teacher very well. Her mom told her that she would have to visit the ear doctor because her ears weren’t working right.

At bedtime her mom talked about how God hears us when we talk to him and assured her that he loves talking to us.

The next morning our granddaughter came downstairs and said, “Mom, I definitely need to go to the doctor for my ears.”

Asked why, she replied, “Well, when I woke up this morning I started talking to God, and I couldn’t hear a single word he said to me!

—Fred and Cheryl Haan

He who hesitates is probably right.

—Cornelius Peters

A minister decided to get acquainted with a new family in his congregation. When he knocked on the door, a voice inside called out, “Is that you, Angel?”

“No,” the minister replied, “but I’m from the same department.”

—Alvin Bosma

Our family was watching a Christian school production of “Go, Go, Jonah.” Jonah ran off the stage and started circling the audience.

My 4-year-old daughter said, “Mom, where is Jonah running to?” I whispered that he was trying to run away from God. She burst out laughing and said, “He doesn’t know God is everywhere!”

—Christine Winter

The owner of a bed-and-breakfast wanted to name his three available rooms after the gospels. Not knowing which names to pick, he finally decided on Matthew, Mark, and Luke. “Now,” he thought, “if only I could come up with a name for the bathroom!”

—Dick Bylsma

One morning while my 7-year-old son was getting ready for school, I reminded him of an upcoming appointment with the allergy specialist. His eyes grew wide as he asked, “Will they give me needles?”

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “They’ll apply the allergen to a patch, place it on your skin, and see if you react to it.”

“I already know what they’ll find I react to,” said my son matter-of-factly.

“Oh? What’s that?”
“Needles!”

—Nicole Van de Kraats

Recently retired, I have availed myself of several services offered by our community’s Senior Center. Last week I took a safety course put on by the police and fire departments. I failed the course.

When we were asked what steps we would take in the event of a fire, apparently “big ones” was not the right answer.

—David Hollander

One day my 3-year-old granddaughter, Lily, came up to her mother with her play stethoscope and said, “Mommy, I want to hear Jesus in your heart.”

—Nancy Van Dyk

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