Punch Lines

Point of View
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One dark night a New York cabbie picked up a passenger. When the man tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask a question, the cabbie screamed, lost control of the car, and nearly hit a bus.

The cab was silent a moment, then the driver said, “Look, friend, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!” The passenger apologized, saying he had no idea such a light tap would cause such a scare.

“Sorry. It’s not really your fault,” the cabbie explained. “Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving hearses for the past 25 years.”

—Richard Tuitman

Slick Sam had for sale an aging auto that was almost ready for the junkyard. He’d had no success selling the car, for neighbors and friends knew they had to be careful in dealing with Sam. Sadly, Sam was very religious on the surface, easily justifying any questionable action by quoting Scripture.

One afternoon a stranger came by. The engine on his own car had blown up, and he needed transportation.

Sam’s wife watched from the window as Sam took money from the stranger, who drove off with Sam’s sick car. With a smile Sam entered the house.

“Did you really take $800 for your $200 car?” she asked. “How can you possibly justify that?!”

“Easy,” Sam said. “He was a stranger and I took him in.”

—Conn Witt

I wanted our 2-and-a-half-year - old-son, Christopher, to respect our church sanctuary. After the morning service we sat quietly in the pews. I told him this is God’s house, and just like at our house we don’t run and yell here. Then we walked to the front of the sanctuary to look at the flowers. After smelling the flowers, Christopher turned around and spotted the computer monitors we use for the pastor and the praise team. He exclaimed, “Look, God has TVs in his house!”

—Tammy Klaver

After attending Sunday services near Zion National Park, my wife and I chatted with the minister about the advantages and disadvantages of living in such a nonurban area. He said he was certain the Lord would provide, sometimes in the most mysterious ways. With a broad smile he told us that when he’d first moved there, television reception was terrible. Since the addition of the tall, stainless-steel cross on top of the church, however, the reception had been unusually good.

—Ellis Biderson

Recently our family has been listening to a CD that has the song “He Is Exalted” on it. One day as we were listening to it in the car, our daughter Courtney, 5, asked, “Is this the song where he is exhausted?”

—Kristen Lobbes

The editor of The Banner came into the office with a sheet of paper and stopped at the shredding machine. He then asked a colleague if she could show him how it worked. Coming over she turned on the shredder and ran his paper through. “OK,” he said. “Now how do I make two copies?”

—Ken Slager

A Sunday school teacher asked her young class to memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23. She gave the children a month to learn the verses.

Little Ricky was excited about the task but had a difficult time remembering the psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first few lines.

On the day the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was nervous. When his turn came, he stepped up to the microphone and said, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

—Theo Meester

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