One Sunday morning I substituted for my daughter in Sunday school. The lesson was about Joshua and the wall of Jericho. Little Danny, who was a bit younger than the other kids, kept getting off his chair and crawling under the table to play with his miniature cars. He appeared to be totally disinterested in the lesson.
Finally I decided to just leave him there and go on with the story. I told the children how the Lord told Joshua and the Israelites to march around the Jericho seven times, blowing their trumpets. When they heard a long trumpet blast, they were to give a shout and the wall would tumble down.
I wondered aloud exactly what it might have been that the Lord wanted the people to shout. Danny peeked out from under the table and yelled, “TIMBER!”
A little boy opened an old family Bible and paged through it with fascination. Then something fell out. He picked it up and examined it closely. It was a leaf that had been pressed between the pages long ago.
“Mama, look what I found!” the boy called out.
“What is it? asked Mama.
With awe in his voice, the boy answered, “It’s Adam’s suit!”
A priest and a bus driver were heavenbound. The priest was sure that Peter would let him in. He had faithfully preached
and was sure there would be
no trouble at heaven’s gate.
However, he was rejected.
When the bus driver’s turn came, he was readily admitted. The priest was very disturbed. “Why him, and not me?” he asked. Peter explained: “When you preached, people slept. But
when the bus driver drove, people prayed.”
The Sunday school class had been discussing heaven, and the teacher asked the children to list some wonderful things they could anticipate there. “Johnny’ excitedly exclaimed, “No more homework!” Then he quietly added, “Unless my teacher is there too.”
My pregnant sister, Anna, made plans to visit a friend and her 2-year-old daughter. The girl’s mother said, “Sweetie, Auntie Anna is coming over, and she has a baby in her tummy!”
The next morning, before Anna arrived, the little girl said to her mom, “Mommy, I don’t like Auntie Anna anymore.” When
her mom asked why, she said, “Because she ate a baby.”
One day Reverend Smith received a phone call from an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.
“Reverend Smith? This is the IRS calling. Is Samuel Jones a member of your congregation?”
“Why yes, he is,” said Rev. Smith.
“Tell me, did he donate $5,000 to your church?” asked the agent.
“He will!” said the reverend.
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