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The pastor in Phil the barber’s village had a fiery sermon on witnessing: “We all have to be soul-winners!”

Phil tried sharing the gospel with his first customer the next morning, but failed miserably. The next day he tried again but could not get his words out. He hoped the following day would go better. When a big, strapping man came in for a shave, Phil seated him, got his leather strap out and sharpened his knife, but then could not remember the Bible verses the pastor had suggested. So he looked down at his customer and cried out, “Are you ready to die?”

The customer left in a hurry.

—Walter Vanderbeek

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by an indigenous local.

“What is it made of?” she asked.

“Alligator’s teeth,” the man replied.

“I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.”

“Oh no,” he objected. “Anybody can open an oyster.”

—John Veltkamp

I overheard my 10-year-old son reviewing the armor of God with my 7-year-old son: “There’s the sword of the Spirit, the shield of faith, the guillotine of mercy . . .”

—Dan Wolters

My 5-year-old son, Zachary, and I were talking together, and he reminded me of a time from the past summer when he had a lot of fun with his uncles. So I said to him, “Just think, every year you keep getting bigger and stronger, and you’ll be able to keep up more and more.”

“Yeah,” he responded enthusiastically, “and they’ll just keep getting older and weaker, so I’ll be able to beat them then!”

—Christine Mantel

My 7-year-old grandson, Trevor, lamented the fact that he had to go downstairs to practice the piano and commented that he didn’t want to be alone down there. His 4-year-old sister, Sidney, said, “Don’t worry, Trevor, God will be with you.”

Later that same day, when Sidney was about to go downstairs, she asked her mother, “Will you go with me? I don’t want to be alone with God.”

—C.R. Lindemulder

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