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What is the dentist’s favorite hymn?
“Crown Him with Many Crowns.”
When a man went to get his eyes checked, the receptionist asked him to describe his difficulty.
The man responded, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”
“Have you seen a doctor?” the receptionist questioned.
The man replied, “No, just spots.”
—George Vander Weit
The spouse of a seminary student was explaining to colleagues that her husband was taking a course on the minor prophets. One listener pondered a moment, then inquired, “Is that a business course?”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are hiking. They hike all day long and then, having grown tired, go to sleep in their tent.
During the night Holmes wakes up Watson and asks, “Watson, do you see the bright stars, and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from that?”
“Well, it clearly tells us that the weather tomorrow will be dry and sunny.”
“No, Watson. It’s much simpler than that. It means someone has stolen our tent.”
As a kindergarten teacher at Bellevue (Wash.) Christian School, I’m always trying to make sure the students understand the Bible passages they memorize. We are working on Psalm 121. Assuming they would find great comfort knowing that God is always near, I asked them how it made them feel that God never slumbers nor sleeps. One little girl in the back replied, “Tired.”
The recent craze in my class is to be the last in line. Returning from recess, one sobbing child said to me, “But I was first to be last.”
Three-and-a-half-year-old Abby had received a wonderful book on the Ten Commandments from the Elmhurst (Ill.) CRC Little Lambs program. While fighting desperately to keep a toy away from her 1-year-old brother Joseph, Abby told her mom, “Remember what Number 10 in my book says? He shouldn’t want what other people have!”
Our 4-year-old grandson was being taught the Lord’s Prayer by his parents. He prayed, “Our Father, who art in heaven, how do you know my name?”
Our 5-year-old granddaughter came to spend a night with us while we were camping at Lake Michigan, where a steep walkway down the dunes is the only way to reach the lake itself. After we climbed back up to our campsite, my granddaughter remarked, “Grandma, I think you must be older than my other grandma.” I realized her comment was brought on by my achy hobble up the dunes. Of course, by the next morning several seldom-used muscles ached even more, and I limped stiffly around in the trailer. With the sweetest of smiles, my granddaughter came over to me and proclaimed, “Grandma, you know what? I think you’re looking older every day!”
—Hildy Van Dyken
Enjoyed this article?
Don’t miss this week’s must-read articles:
- Feature: Tending God’s Creation
- Exposing Harassment of OSJ Raises Questions, Hope for Humility
- Book Review: Something’s Not Right