Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents’ house a few weeks before Christmas.
At bedtime, both boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers. The youngest began praying at the top of his lungs: “I pray for a new bike.” “I pray for a Nintendo.”
The older brother leaned over and nudged him. “Why are you shouting your prayers?” he said. “God’s not deaf.”
Two which the younger brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention. He asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punchy 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. “What’s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?” he demanded. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”
Jenkins was baffled. “I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”
In the bulletin in the order of worship for last Sunday’s communion service:.
Pass the bread: "The Old Rugged Cross"
Pass the wind: "Resurrection Hymn"
A pastor stopped a boy on the street and asked him for directions to the post office.
After being told how to get there, the pastor said to him,"Now if you'll come to my church
on Sunday, I'll tell you how you can get to heaven." "No thanks," said the boy. "If
you didn't know how to get to the post office, I doubt you can tell me how to get heaven."
I was teaching a lower elementary Sunday school class about being a follower of Jesus. We reviewed the 12 disciples, and I mentioned that they are sometimes called “apostles.” A 5-year-boy got all wide-eyed and said, “You mean like the Apostles' Creed?”
Why did Hendrik become a baker?
Because he kneaded the dough.
My husband is in the financial planning and insurance business selling annuities and the like. When my son was young, he was asked what his dad did for a living. Ben, aged 5 or 6, proudly answered, “My dad sells iniquities!”
I have learned two very important lessons in life. I don't remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.
While growing up, Grandpa’s older sister would often point her finger at him and shout, “Behave! Act your age!” Now, at age 84, it is quite easy for him to act his age. But his behavior is questionable.
—Adrian Vander Starre
Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.
A young couple regularly allowed their 6-year-old daughter to fall asleep at night with the radio on for some soothing background noise. After a while, they were surprised to hear the ending of her bedtime prayer: “God bless Mommy and Daddy and my sister. Amen. And FM.”