Punch Lines

Point of View
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Arriving at church one Sunday evening, I backed into a space in front of some trees. I had been listening to a Christian radio station on my way to church and forgot to turn off the radio before turning off the car. It was very dark outside when I got back to the car. After starting the engine, there was a pause on the radio station. Then a deep voice from the back-seat speakers said, “You’re not alone.” I spun around to see who was there and was relieved to find that the back seat was empty!

—Robyn Lilek

On the way to church, our son Nathaniel asked, “Are they going to have appetizers?” I told him no, because an appetizer is something you eat before your meal, like bread or chips and salsa.
He rolled his eyes and said, “I mean when they put water on someone’s head at church!”

—Kristin LaBelle

While singing “When Peace Like a River” at bedtime, my son burst out laughing. “Who pees in the river, Dad?”

—Kevin Eastway

Out for lunch with my daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids one day, I prayed silently before the meal. My 4-year-old grandson, staring intently as I opened my eyes, asked, “Gram, what were you doing?”

“Praying,” I replied.

His quick response: “When we pray, we say stuff!”

—Dorene Eggink

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was acting up during the morning worship service. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little boy called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

—Clarence Wildeboer

We asked our 3-year-old daughter, Sophie, if she wanted another sibling. She said no. When we wondered why, she explained that there are already two kids in the family. If we have one more baby, the bathtub won’t be big enough for all three of them.

—Xiaohong Zhou

A couple arranging for their wedding asked the bakery to inscribe their wedding cake with the text “1 John 4:18,” which reads, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

The bakery evidently lost, smudged, or otherwise misread the note, and beautifully inscribed the cake with “John 4:18” instead. That text reads: “For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband.”

—Sue Lauritzen

When our great-granddaughter was 3, I tried helping her fly her new kite, but it kept falling to the ground. My husband held the ball of string while I went to pick up the kite. Jessica was watching, and yelled out, “Grandpa, don’t fly Grandma!”

—Simon and Sharon Hilbrand

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