The Bride

Cabbages and Kings

She felt overwhelmed. So much to do. So little time to do it. The advice she was getting wasn’t helping. It just confused her more. She decided to sit down, organize her thoughts, and draw up a schedule. Somewhere, in her dozen bride books, there was a suggested timetable. She paged and paged and paged. She found it.

“Six months before the wedding see a dermatologist.” Good idea! Her skin wasn’t the best. Too dry. Maybe it was already too late to make an appointment. She looked in the yellow pages under “dermatologists.”

Should she order stationery too? Before she could order she would have to decide the color. Yellow paper? Or light blue? She liked yellow.

“Five months before, book hair appointments.” That seemed terribly early. She could probably skip that. On the other hand, maybe she should call and consult with someone at the salon she had selected. After all, it wasn’t only her hair that needed styling. She’d need a manicure and pedicure, and she’d need to select nail polish, eye makeup, and the proper shade of lipstick. And her eyebrows were too heavy. Better call the salon tomorrow and talk about all that stuff with somebody.

She had selected her dress, but was having second thoughts. She liked the other one too—the one that matched so well with the elbow-length veil. Maybe she should rethink. She went back to her bride book, still open in front of her.

“Three months before the wedding, find a caterer and select a menu.” She sighed, then decided to go to bed and deal with it all tomorrow. It had been such a hassle deciding where to get married. The church? The country club? Now that the decision had been made and the church reserved, she should speak to the pastor about the wedding program.

And the organist. She wanted someone to sing “Love Is a Many Splendored Thing,” but she was afraid the organist would not comply. He wanted only churchy stuff.

The book said she’d need to call the chef at the country club soon to discuss not only the menu but the cake. Enough already! She went to bed.

(Keep reading, fellas.)

She couldn’t find sleep. Too much stuff in her head. When do you mail the invitations? How many? And to whom? What favors should she buy for the members of the wedding party? What about flowers? She liked red and pink roses. Daisies would be nice too. Better give the florist a buzz.

She sat bolt upright in her bed. How could she forget? A photographer! She wanted lots of pictures. Formal and informal. She also wanted a videographer to record the entire event. It would be good to buy her shoes now. She could wear them around the house and get comfortable in them.

She fell into fitful sleep. She dreamt of tiaras, selecting a scent, antiperspirant, breath sweetener, and tips for whoever should get them. She would find out.

Dawn! She awoke. A million things to do.

Sometimes brides, including the church—the bride of Christ (Rev. 19:7)—spend too much time and money on themselves!

About the Author

Rev. Jacob D. Eppinga was pastor emeritus of LaGrave Avenue Christian Reformed Church, in Grand Rapids, Mich. He went to be with his Lord March 1, 2008. This column concludes his popular “Cabbages and Kings” series, which he wrote for 40 consecutive years. Watch for It’s All Grace, a collection of his best and more recent columns to be published in book form this fall by Faith Alive Christian Resources.
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