Punch Lines

Point of View
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A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left work immediately and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.

When she returned to her car, she found that she had locked her keys in it. She didn’t know what to do, so she called home and told the baby-sitter what had happened. The baby-sitter told her that the fever was getting worse and suggested, “You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.”

Looking around, the woman found an old rusty hanger on the ground, possibly left by someone else in a similar predicament. She looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to use this.” So she bowed her head and asked God to send help.

Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, with a greasy-looking bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, “Lord, this is who you sent to help me?” But she was desperate.

The man got off his motorcycle and asked if he could help. She explained, “Yes, my daughter is very sick. I just stopped to get her some medication, and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?

He said, “Sure.” He walked over to the vehicle and had it opened in less than a minute.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, “Thank you so much! You are a very nice man.”

The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.”

Still sobbing, the woman hugged the man again and cried, “Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a professional!”

—Herman J. Kelderman

One summer when my husband and I were traveling throughout the country with our RV, we spent a weekend at a campground adjacent to a small charismatic church. We decided to attend the morning worship service there on Sunday. One of their missionaries, home on furlough, conducted the service. After he began his message, we heard a constant murmuring of “Amen! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!” from throughout the congregation. A man sitting behind us was quite loud and non-stop, but very sincere, in expressing his praises.

Trying to emphasize a certain point in his sermon, the missionary said, “Many people believe that ministers and their wives never argue, but believe me, my wife and I have had many an argument. Just the other day, after a bit of arguing, she went upstairs and we didn’t speak to each other all day.”

“Amen! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!” exclaimed the man behind us.

 —Jean Vander Hoek

Typos:

“I know judo, karate, jujitsu, and other forms of marital arts.”

“To Whom I May Concern:”

“We proudly feature some-day shipping.”

“Our massage treatments help relive your pain.”

—Faith Alive editors

I had had a particularly trying day with our 4-year-old son. He had scribbled on the bathroom wall, cut off a chunk of the cat’s fur, and picked a fight with his 2-year-old brother. In exasperation I said to him, “Cameron!

What’s gotten into you today?” He raised big, tear-filled blue eyes to me and said, “I don’t know—

I guess I was just filled with the unholy spirit.”

—Valerie Van Kooten

After teaching my Sunday school class of 2- and 3-year-olds the story of Moses and the burning bush, we were discussing how Moses didn’t want to go but agreed once God promised to go with him. The picture in our story book showed Moses walking away with a sort of knapsack on his back. Liam listened intently, then asked, “Is God in that backpack?”

—Maria De Jong

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