Punch Lines

Point of View

The preacher was sitting up front with a group of small children. He asked, “What do we have to do to go to heaven?”

One little girl looked up and said sweetly, “Since I’m saved, all I have to do is die.”

—Ted de Rose


Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is out of this world, but there is no atmosphere.

—Ralph Smit


As our daughter-in-law was riding all over Sioux Center doing errands, our 4-year-old grandson Isaac became inquisitive. Among the barrage of questions he threw out to his mother was this: “Is God following us?” (She assumed he meant following their Suburban.)

To which she replied, “Of course! God is always with us.”

“Oh, good,” he said. Then, without skipping a beat, he added, “Then is Jesus in the other lane?”

—Bonnie Van Donge


This conversation took place at a family candlelight dinner between our two sons, L (age 8) and A (age 5):

A: Is God in the flame of my candle?

L: Yes! God is everywhere. He’s even swimming around in my milk right now.

A: Actually, he’s probably walking on top of it.

—Johanna Jensen


Our neighborhood children love to come over and visit. One of them is Jake, age 4. One summer afternoon I asked the children if they knew the song “We Are Climbing Jacob’s Ladder.”

I started into the song, and at the end, there were a few smiles as they all looked at little Jacob.
His response?

“But Jacob doesn’t have a ladder!”

—George Prins


When my son was about 3, we were cleaning the house while listening to music. When the song “Lord, I Want to Be a Christian” came on, he quipped, “Mommy, you know what? I’m already a Christian!”

—Lianne Tibben


As a former youth pastor, now approaching age 70, I remain in close touch with our current youth pastor. Recently I came to church on a Wednesday evening at about 6 p.m. I found the youth pastor and several junior high kids in the foyer prior to their group meeting and jokingly asked if I was late. To which he responded: “Yes, by about 60 years.”

—Al Negen


A father skated on an outdoor rink with his two children, 8 and 4 years old. A television reporter spotted them and asked if they had made New Year’s resolutions.

“Yes,” replied the dad. “I’m going to the gym more often and am going to watch my diet.”

The 8-year-old, nodding all the while, said, “I am going to eat only healthy food, no junk food.”

When it was his turn, the 4-year-old said, “I am going to eat pizza every day!”

—Jim and Betsy McClure


Two elderly women were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others’ friendship. One day, the younger of the two turned to the other and said, “Please don’t be angry with me, dear, but what is your name? I just can’t remember.”

Her friend was quiet for a few moments. Finally she said, “How soon do you have to know?”

—Sue Lauritzen