Grocery store clerk (at checkout): Sir, I really like your cross.
Me: I like it too. My wife gave it to me.
Clerk (pointing to his chest): I have one, but it’s not as cool as that.
Me: Yeah, I'm quite fond of it.
Clerk: If you're wearing it, you should know that it is more blessed to give than to receive, right?
Me: I've heard that.
Clerk: So what do you think about giving that cross to me?
Me: I'm thinking, “Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor. Not his wife or his house or his silver cross."
Clerk: Hmm, that's strange, because I was thinking that each of us should seek to please his neighbor for his good.
Me: To which I'd say, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” I'm just looking to my own interests here.
Clerk: How about the part that says to sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven?
Me: It goes well with the part that says that the poor you will always have with you.
Clerk: Does that mean I'm not getting the cross?
Me: Pretty much.
Clerk: Are you a pastor?
Me: I am, and I can do this all day.
Clerk (laughing): Grandma said never get in a swordfight with a sword swallower.
Me: I like Grandma.
Clerk: Me too. She bought me my cross.
Bagger: You dudes had a whole conversation and it’s like you're quoting from something I've never heard.
Clerk: We have. It's a book called the Bible.
Bagger: My girlfriend gave me one of those.
Clerk: You should read it. . . .