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Grocery store clerk (at checkout): Sir, I really like your cross.

Me: I like it too. My wife gave it to me.

Clerk (pointing to his chest): I have one, but it’s not as cool as that.

Me: Yeah, I'm quite fond of it.

Clerk: If you're wearing it, you should know that it is more blessed to give than to receive, right?

Me: I've heard that.

Clerk: So what do you think about giving that cross to me?

Me: I'm thinking, “Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor. Not his wife or his house or his silver cross."

Clerk: Hmm, that's strange, because I was thinking that each of us should seek to please his neighbor for his good.

Me: To which I'd say, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” I'm just looking to my own interests here.

Clerk: How about the part that says to sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven?

Me: It goes well with the part that says that the poor you will always have with you.

Clerk: Does that mean I'm not getting the cross?

Me: Pretty much.

Clerk: Are you a pastor?

Me: I am, and I can do this all day.

Clerk (laughing): Grandma said never get in a swordfight with a sword swallower.

Me: I like Grandma.

Clerk: Me too. She bought me my cross.

Bagger: You dudes had a whole conversation and it’s like you're quoting from something I've never heard.

Clerk: We have. It's a book called the Bible.

Bagger: My girlfriend gave me one of those.

Clerk: You should read it. . . .

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