What Do I Do When I Disagree with My Child’s Academic Counselor?

Our son loves working with his hands, so we think trade school fits best, but his high school counselor is steering him to college based on his test scores. Any advice?

What a blessing that your son has these different gifts, even as it creates challenges in discerning how best to use them!

I encourage you to talk with your son about his hopes for the future, including whether working with his hands is something he'd like to do full-time, part-time, or more as a hobby. It's also good to be realistic about what is possible. Some trades require long hours, and some are hard on the body. Furthermore, while there is a significant demand for many trades today, not all trades can earn a person a living. It is wise to talk to someone at a local college or who is already doing this kind of work to see what is available in terms of professional training and internships (Prov. 11:14).

While it sounds like trade school is a good fit for your son, he might also want to look at going to university or college. Even if he goes only for a year or two, he could learn extra skills, such as business and marketing, that can help him earn a living. Furthermore, going to college is more than simply training for a future job; it's an opportunity to make deep friendships, expand your understanding of the world, and grow in independence.

However, if you decide university is not currently worth the cost, there are other ways for your son to develop close friendships and explore how to use his gifts to serve God and his neighbor. Your son could take a gap year with a Christian organization, do service or mission projects, and/or he could move into a house with others. He could also develop his skills, both in his trade and in organization and leadership, through volunteering with relief organizations or helping out with a boys club at church or in the community.

While this season is about preparing your son for a future path, it is also a season of faithful formation, exploration, and learning who he is and what his gifts are. I hope you and he can approach this season with a prayerful sense of wonder and openness to God's leading.