You Are Not Invincible

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. … So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him” (Matt. 24:42, 44). We do not know when the Lord will return, but we also don’t know if he will take us to himself before he comes. Do you have your affairs in order if God decides to take you sooner rather than later?

I became a widow at age 52, and I must say that it means a whole lot to us who are left behind if you take care of things beforehand. My husband, Jim, did that. I can’t imagine making decisions in the fog of grief, sitting in front of the funeral director on the day of a spouse’s passing, trying to make decisions on what casket to pick, what flowers to order, or whether I want more than one visitation time, only to wonder later if I made the right decisions. Knowing that Jim and I made the decisions beforehand enabled me to be present for our children during this hard time. What a huge blessing.

I encourage you all, no matter your age, to start a file. You too, young people. You are not invincible. Your families will thank you. For this file:

• Include the names of your lawyers and accountants, including contact information.
• Include a copy of an updated will (in Canada, Christian Stewardship Services will help draft a will for free).
• Talk to your funeral director. It’s free to make funeral arrangements.
• List all your insurances and investments, including names, addresses, phone numbers, agreements, and account numbers and passwords. Also, if you receive income or a pension from another country, get the name of someone from the country you now live in on those bank accounts.
• If you have a verbal agreement on borrowed money within the family, write down whether the debt is forgiven or needs to come out of the inheritance.
• List favorite hymns or Bible verses to include in the funeral service. Include a list of pallbearers.
• Draw what you want a headstone to look like, including all the wording and correct spelling. Decide on color, size, and texture.
• Have a list of family names with correct spellings for the obituary. Also, include the name of your parents' birthplace(s).
• Include Bible verses and songs that mean the most to you and why.
• Include a short overview of your life, an updated headshot, and multiple photos of yourself through the years.
• Why not add letters to your loved ones? Include happy memories you have had with them, strengths you see in them, encouraging words for the days ahead, a Bible verse to cling to, and reassurances of love throughout.

Remember to regularly review and update this file.

I also cannot stress to you how important it is to forgive people before it is too late. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Isn’t eternity worth any discomfort you might feel today?

Talking about death is not easy. Many ignore the topic as if they think they are invincible. But we are not; we are human. I was blessed to talk about many things with my husband as he walked his two-year journey with cancer. Many people don’t have that blessing. One thing we discussed and then researched was whether I would continue to live in our house or move to town. Another topic was how we saw the end of life looking for us. Would it be the hospital, hospice, or home? Life support or not? These are all things you need to discuss with your loved ones no matter how old you are.

We even talked about what one thing or few things we would be most disappointed we wouldn’t be able to complete if God took us today. This gave us purpose, a goal. It made us realize what was important in life and streamlined our purpose for today.

Jim also talked to me about finding someone else one day. This is so important to do. Don’t say flippantly that you don’t want your spouse to find happiness in another relationship when you are gone. Your opinion matters to them. Whether they know it or not, what you say will play into their thoughts and emotions later.

Then there are those discussions we didn’t have that I wish we had, such as: What did he want me to do with the insurance money? Should I continue paying into my life insurance? It would have been nice, too, if he could have helped me find my new path without him, or at least point me in a direction. I felt lost without him. We had hopes and dreams that belonged to both of us together. The plans we had made all those years before took an unexpected turn, and I was lost. After flailing for almost three years, I believe I have found where God needs me. (See Eph. 3:16-21.)

I encourage you to take the first step in securing your legacy today. Trust me, your family will thank you.