Funny Lines Heard at Synod 2012

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Rev. Cornelis van Rensburg of the Dutch Reformed Church of South Africa to delegates, just after a long discussion on whether or not to “commend” the Office of Social Justice: “May I also congratulate you—commend you—on what you are doing here—and that is not to be amended.”

Rev. Michael Winnowski, Classis Wisconsin: “Am I making sense, or should I just sit down? I’ve made my comments, Mr. President, I’m going to sit down.”

Elder Terry Gray, Classis Rocky Mountain: “The motion from the Ecumenical—the E-R-I-R-E—whatever it is!”

President: Two minutes is up!
Rev. Ken Benjamins, Classis Hamilton: “Thank you very much. . . . I was almost done.”

Rev. Gary Roest, Classis Hackensack: “We'll adopt the form of subscription now and deal with the heresy later.”

Rev. Michael Winnowski, Classis Wisconsin, to retiring ministry associates: “You'll retire as ministry associates, but in our hearts, you will forever be commissioned pastors.”

Rev. Joel Boot, executive director: “I don’t even know who I am right now.”

Rev. Michael Winnowski, upon synod passing a motion that Rev. Joel Boot continue to serve as executive director three years instead of two: “Joel Boot has accepted [this recommendation] because we’re holding his grandchildren for ransom.”

Rev. Timothy B. Toeset, Classis Yellowstone: “I think I’ve been misquoted. I don’t think I’ve ever said we know everything.”
Vice President Rev. Bruce Persenaire: “I’m disappointed, Tim.”

Rev. Len Vanderzee: “You’ll be happy to know that we returned to the ‘thees’ and ‘thous’ in this hymnal.”
Vice President Rev. Bruce Persenaire: “We thank thee.”

Sarah Cook, Classis Eastern Canada, following the retirement lunch, which included a poem: “I found [the retirement lunch] so inspiring that I thought maybe I should present this report in rhyming verse, but I’m not allowed to change any words.”

Delegate: “Does anyone remember the population bomb? I suffered through a vasectomy because of that!”
Synod president Rev. Les Kuiper: “Thank you for sharing.”

Delegate: “I’m not sure I can finish my speech in two minutes because of the language barrier.”
Synod president Rev. Les Kuiper: “I will give you three minutes.”
Delegate: “How generous of you.”

 

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