As I Was Saying is a forum for a variety of perspectives to foster faith-related conversations among our readers with the goal of mutual learning, even in disagreement. Apart from articles written by editorial staff, these perspectives do not necessarily reflect the views of The Banner.
My friend burst into my office and plunged headlong into a story that was absolutely shocking. His movements were uncharacteristically animated, his voice at least 10 decibels louder than usual.
“You’ll never believe what my boss did this time!”
Then he proceeded to lay out an account of the vicious words, unscrupulous actions, and obvious motives of jealousy and contempt that were operating within his boss. My friend was a persecuted victim, nobly resisting this unfair treatment with all the dignity and honor of a martyr. By the end of the story, his outrage had become my own. This boss was clearly a villain, and I sided with my friend in pursuit of justice.
Then I heard another side of the story from my friend’s co-worker.
She said the boss had rightly called him out on a mistake he’d made and my friend had become defensive and angry, blowing up on the boss in front of other staff. From her perspective, the boss’s motives were just and my friend was the one who had stepped out of line.
I kicked myself for once again getting sucked into the drama of someone’s story and so quickly taking sides. I should have known by my friend’s demeanor that he wasn’t relaying all the facts accurately.
A Common Problem
I think it happens to all of us. Our child comes home with an account of something terrible that happened at school … a friend shares about his wife’s betrayal … our favorite news source reports great political evils … and we are left to carry the burden of figuring out what’s true and how we should respond. The tales of anxious or hurt people often contain exaggerations and over-simplification, portraying ordinary people as heroes and villains. It takes some discernment to sort it all out.
In Philippians 1:9, the Apostle Paul prays for the Philippians “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”
Knowledge and Insight
The phrase “depth of insight” is the Greek word for discernment (aisthesei), and Paul pairs that word with the word “knowledge” (epignosei), which means an experiential kind of knowledge. To discern what is true and right requires knowing God, not just knowing about God. This kind of knowing requires more than just studying doctrine or reading the Bible. It comes through relational spiritual practices such as worship, meditation on Scripture, and trusting him in the day-to-day events of our lives. As we grow in our knowledge of God’s character and his ways, we also become more able to discern whether human actions resemble, or are out of sync with, the truth and goodness of God.
The other kind of knowledge that is essential to discernment is knowledge of our own human nature. John Calvin believed that a “right knowledge of ourselves” is important in discernment and decision-making. He wrote in his Institutes, “For it is considered disgraceful for us not to know all that pertains to the business of human life, even more detestable is our ignorance of ourselves, by which, when making decisions in necessary matters, we miserably deceive and even blind ourselves! … Here, then, is what God’s truth requires us to seek in examining ourselves: it requires the kind of knowledge that will strip us of all confidence in our own ability, deprive us of all occasion for boasting, and lead us to submission. We ought to keep this rule if we wish to reach the true goal of both wisdom and action” ( Institutes of the Christian Religion, book 2, ch. 1, section 1).
This resonates with me. The more I experience the amazing mercy and love of Christ, the more aware and honest I become about my own sinful tendencies. God’s grace repeatedly disarms me, removing my need to prove to God that I’m one of the “heroes.” It allows me to recognize that, right alongside the goodness that God’s Spirit has worked in me, I carry around a broken nature that’s constantly prone to pride and other sinful impulses.
And knowing that about myself helps me recognize that same dynamic in the people I interact with and be able to address those dynamics with grace. It releases the pressure I put on myself to determine who is right and who is wrong and embrace the freeing reality that every person carries a complicated mix of right and wrong impulses and perceptions.
Growing in Discernment
Even the Apostle Paul shared this honest snapshot of this struggle within his own life, writing, “So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. … What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I serve the law of God, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” (Rom. 7:21-25).
As a former Pharisee of Pharisees, Paul remembered what it was like to trust himself and be trusted by others as a person who is “right.” It wasn’t until he was blinded by the light of Christ that his eyes were truly opened to see the self-righteousness and hatred that was the actual heart-level foundation of his life. When he came to know his own brokenness, he was able to experientially know the righteousness of Christ that came through God’s grace to him. After that, he never wanted to trust human rightness (his own or that of others) again! He considered it garbage, making it his goal to know Christ and be found in His righteousness. In Philippians 3:3, he exhorted God’s people to also “boast only in Christ” and “put no confidence in the flesh.” (Sarx, the Greek word for “flesh,” indicates the self operating independently from God.)
The habit of “putting confidence in the flesh” is one that undermines discernment. Sometimes we place too much confidence in the rightness of our own perception. At other times, we put too much confidence in someone else’s rightness. We neglect the work of prayer and simply hitch our wagons to someone who seems to have a lot of confidence and conviction and let them take the reins in discerning what’s right for us.
That lazy approach can spiral into all sorts of dysfunction. Blind trust in one person can lead to blind distrust of those who aren’t on board with that person. We start to see ordinary human beings as heroes and villains, and once a villain is identified, slander and gossip is easy to justify. Cliques and factions form, and they become echo-chambers for falsehoods to flourish. Ultimately, the whole body of Christ suffers when each member fails to actively contribute their own God-gifted discernment.
Imagine how the kingdom would flourish if we learned to approach each opportunity for discernment with confidence only in Christ as the “right” one. If we could enter each situation stripped of all confidence in our own ability” (as Calvin instructed) or the abilities of others, our boasting could give way to submission. Instead of taking a side, we could take a neutral, prayerful position and seek out where God (the only right one) is active and where sinful nature (in all human parties) is evident. I believe this posture would empower us to be less fearful of conflict and more effective and courageous in our peacemaking efforts.
Many opportunities for discernment lie before us. Whether you are called to a role in discerning God’s will for the church, as an elder, deacon, pastor, or delegate to classis or synod, or whether you are called to navigate conflict between friends or family, may your “love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”