November 30, 2012 — A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying by the side of the road, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
One thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence: “I think I’d throw up.”
I was driving in the van with my 4-year-old daughter when she proudly announced that she knew what all the colors of a traffic light mean. She said, “Red means stop, green means go, and yellow means speed up!”
Because of the nature of her surgery, the patient needed only a local anesthetic. While recovering, a nurse asked how she was feeling.
“I’m OK,” she said, “but I didn’t like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery.”
“What did he say?” asked the nurse.
“Oops!” replied the patient.
—George Vander Weit
On the way home from church one Sunday morning, one of our kids started crying loudly in the back seat of the car. When I asked why she was crying, she said, “You know how it says in the Bible that if someone punches you, you shouldn’t punch back? Nick didn’t do what the Bible says because when I punched him, he punched me back.”
Her older brother vehemently defended himself, also using Scripture: “It says in the Bible to treat others the way you want to be treated. When she hit me, I figured that was how she wanted to be treated, so I punched her back.”
Seems our family has either a pastor or a lawyer—or both—in our future!
Q. How does Moses make his tea?
A. Hebrews it.
—Richard Van Huizen
Our son-in-law was dropping off his 2-year-old daughter, Makayla, at the church nursery. She’s into the “why” stage, and asked him, “Why do we go to church?”
He responded, “Because it’s God’s house and we want to worship and pray to God.”
That night, they were reading a story from the children’s story Bible about how God lives in our hearts. He asked, “Makayla, where does God live?”
She thought for a moment and said, “Um . . . at church.”
Last Halloween, my friend convinced her youngest son to reuse a cowboy costume, saying he could dress up as Indiana Jones. When he got sick of being called a cowboy, his mom suggested he say, “I’m Indiana Jones!” whenever people opened the door. As the evening wore on, thank-yous were being forgotten. My friend prompted her son by saying, “What do you say?” To which he loudly responded, “I’m Indiana Jones!”
Our 3-year-old granddaughter asked her dad if she could help him clean up after communion was served in church.
“Sure,” he said. “Why don’t you go through the pews and bring me any communion glasses you find.”
She turned and was about to walk away. Then she paused and asked, “Daddy, what’s a pew?”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5- and 6-year-olds. After explaining the commandment “Honor thy father and mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shalt not kill!”