Q A good friend at school is Muslim. Her parents are really hard on her. How can I help?
A I commend you for befriending someone from a different religious background and culture than yours. It must be really tough to see your friend experience trouble in her family and the cultural factors that are in play. Although you may feel a sense of helplessness and concern, you can support your friend.
First, let her know that you are there for her. You can’t change things in her home. But when she comes to school, let her know she has in you a listening ear. You are not there to replace her parents but to be a friend and peer who understands and supports her.
Second, pray for her. Bringing the entire family before the Lord is the first step in allowing him to change things. Perhaps ask your family to join you in praying “to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph. 3:20) for your friend’s family. Your friend’s struggle within her family could be an opportunity for them to reevaluate their lives and find the Savior who has been looking for them.
Finally, remain hopeful. Your friend confided in you because she saw in you the raw materials of hope that Isaiah mentioned: “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength” (Isa. 40:31). Continue to be hopeful for her.
By God’s grace, your presence and praying over time just might prompt her to ask, “What must I do to be saved?” Also, I am praying for you.
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Comments
My oh my, Roger. Have you considered personal counseling to help heal the wounds of your childhood, whatever exactly they may be? Seriously.
I really don't think this article was intended to, or purports to, do more than give advice to the scenario questioner as to the scenario fact situation. It may be that the harshness in your childhood mirrored, precisely or otherwise, that described here, but I'm not sure that is cause to launch into broad brush condemnation ("pot calling the kettle black") of all those associated with you parents in a certain respect (being CRC), or by implication, this author's article/advice.
Roger: I had something of a "strict" upbringing to (CRC, but that sort of thing was not at all exclusively CRC), but no, I don't consider myself scarred.
Trusting you are not being facitious, I will pray for you. But the same time, I want to again encourage you to get some counseling. It may be bold of me, but I might suggest that you consider whether you need to forgive your parents, if only for your sake.
You may want to take a look at (Un)Hurt, by David Snapper. Link on Amazon is: https://smile.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=unhurt+snapper&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aunhurt+snapper If you'd like to have that but think it costs too much, I'd be happy to spring for it. Life is too long to be so scarred, ya know.
Roger: My email address is: doug@vandegriend.com if you'd like to email me privately.
Doug
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